I said goodnight, and hung up the phone.
He didn't know, how could he know?
Know how much it hurt everytime I had to say good bye, even if just for a little while.
He didn't know how much it hurt me every time he walked out the door, or he left the room for all of a minute.
It was selfish of me to want him around so much, to be just in his presence.
It was what I craved, what I needed.
Of course, we couldn't be together twenty-four/seven, like I desired.
He had to leave, it wasn't like he voluntarily did it to me.
Phone calls and texting weren't the same, but at least I had some contact with him.
But nothing is as good as being with him, just to have him in the same room as me.
Everything melted away then, everything was perfect. There was no fear or wrongdoing when he was there. I could fly with him there.
It was...perfect.
Simply perfect bliss.
Of course, bliss only lasts so long before it too dissolves, when he leaves or hangs up the phone.
I love him so much, the world will never understand just how much.
And that, my friend, is one of the joys in life. To be in love, and to love someone so much that it hurts.
But it's the good hurt, the hurt that when you were a little girl yourself you dreamed of having.
And now that you possess such..love, such hurt that it feels so good you want more.
And no, this isn't a sexual kind of love, it's the intimate love of..just pure love.
Nothing is as...sweet and innocent as this love.
The love of your life that you want to keep forever.
This is the love that you want to marry, the love you want to die with, the love you want to be buried next to, preferably still holding his hand.
This is the love of a lifetime.
Please don't lose your love.
And please don't make me lose mine.
AN: The author has just committed the crime of a lifetime. Instead of covering her feelings for that one person in her life, for once she let the best words she could to describe it flow onto the screen. For once, there was no feeling-burial. Just...love.
I love you James.
